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(10-12-2016, 02:19 PM)taramarie Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-12-2016, 10:26 AM)Warren Dew Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-11-2016, 02:27 PM)taramarie Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-11-2016, 10:22 AM)Warren Dew Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-11-2016, 12:29 AM)taramarie Wrote: [ -> ]I believe they are close age-wise to each other. Rags was born 63 ....i think. He will correct me if i am wrong. But he is an early xer and i believe x_4 is an early xer too. I take it you are a late boom like my mother?
Thanks.  I was born in 1960, so late boom by S&H and the generally accepted definition, although I think John's theory has the cutoff in 1959.  I definitely seem to have more boom characteristics - arrogant, no sense of humor, all that stuff.
Arrogant...yeah I have been that as a theme for them to the tune of my way or the highway (sometimes) and all should follow my example (more often than not). That is why it is so blatantly obvious for them in general. They are loud about it. No sense of humour though? I have seen way too many boomers with a fantastic sense of humour. My own mother included. One of my former early boomer teachers who took me in the design foundation course always a mischievous smile on his face. Always joking around. No, I do not see why you mentioned that. All generations have a sense of humour. But what can be analyzed is how the sense of humour changes characteristics over time.

I guess I was mostly thinking of use of humor in argument.  Xers often use humor to defuse the tension  associated with disagreement.  I don't think Boomers do that as much.
Ah I see. Yes THAT would be definitely true. My ex who is an xer used it all the freaking time and it drove me bonkers as to me it seemed he was being insincere and as i have no xer relatives in my family here in NZ i had not really encountered it before especially to that degree and i did not know how to deal with it. It seemed like i could not have a sincere relationship with him and there was massive disconnect. No, boomers that i have encountered say what they want and they mean it. Which I prefer tbh. At least you know what is going on with them. I can connect with them far more than with that childish use of humour when you are trying to have a serious conversation. Unless you get the silent treatment that is....

There is a right place for humour and a wrong time too. When having a serious conversation that needs to be cleared up there and then time to be an adult. When it is a more light hearted conversation go for it. Just me though. It was like I was dating a child. I could never have a serious conversation with him and I craved it for a deeper relationship..


I'm not making any comment about your situation with your ex, but I think in some ways Gen Xers have learnt to use humor as a defense mechanism in difficult situations as a result of growing up in the less child-friendly 2T and coming of age in the every-man-for-himself 3T.

Reminds me of the account I read yesterday of a Trump victim who was a young model in the early 90s.  At a club in New York, she did not notice the older man who sat down next to her on a couch until she felt his hand sliding up her skirt to touch her between her legs.  She jumped up to look at him, recognizing him as Donald Trump.  Instead of slapping him in the face, or speaking out publicly against the wealthy celebrity, she later met with her girlfriends and laughed about what a pathetic old pervert he was.  

Sometimes laughter is the refuge of the powerless.
(10-16-2016, 09:39 PM)gabrielle Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-12-2016, 02:19 PM)taramarie Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-12-2016, 10:26 AM)Warren Dew Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-11-2016, 02:27 PM)taramarie Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-11-2016, 10:22 AM)Warren Dew Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks.  I was born in 1960, so late boom by S&H and the generally accepted definition, although I think John's theory has the cutoff in 1959.  I definitely seem to have more boom characteristics - arrogant, no sense of humor, all that stuff.
Arrogant...yeah I have been that as a theme for them to the tune of my way or the highway (sometimes) and all should follow my example (more often than not). That is why it is so blatantly obvious for them in general. They are loud about it. No sense of humour though? I have seen way too many boomers with a fantastic sense of humour. My own mother included. One of my former early boomer teachers who took me in the design foundation course always a mischievous smile on his face. Always joking around. No, I do not see why you mentioned that. All generations have a sense of humour. But what can be analyzed is how the sense of humour changes characteristics over time.

I guess I was mostly thinking of use of humor in argument.  Xers often use humor to defuse the tension  associated with disagreement.  I don't think Boomers do that as much.
Ah I see. Yes THAT would be definitely true. My ex who is an xer used it all the freaking time and it drove me bonkers as to me it seemed he was being insincere and as i have no xer relatives in my family here in NZ i had not really encountered it before especially to that degree and i did not know how to deal with it. It seemed like i could not have a sincere relationship with him and there was massive disconnect. No, boomers that i have encountered say what they want and they mean it. Which I prefer tbh. At least you know what is going on with them. I can connect with them far more than with that childish use of humour when you are trying to have a serious conversation. Unless you get the silent treatment that is....

There is a right place for humour and a wrong time too. When having a serious conversation that needs to be cleared up there and then time to be an adult. When it is a more light hearted conversation go for it. Just me though. It was like I was dating a child. I could never have a serious conversation with him and I craved it for a deeper relationship..


I'm not making any comment about your situation with your ex, but I think in some ways Gen Xers have learnt to use humor as a defense mechanism in difficult situations as a result of growing up in the less child-friendly 2T and coming of age in the every-man-for-himself 3T.

Reminds me of the account I read yesterday of a Trump victim who was a young model in the early 90s.  At a club in New York, she did not notice the older man who sat down next to her on a couch until she felt his hand sliding up her skirt to touch her between her legs.  She jumped up to look at him, recognizing him as Donald Trump.  Instead of slapping him in the face, or speaking out publicly against the wealthy celebrity, she later met with her girlfriends and laughed about what a pathetic old pervert he was.  

Sometimes laughter is the refuge of the powerless.

Yeah my ex had a very xer childhood. He was super nervous around me (as we had been in an online relationship for two years then i traveled the world to be with him) and showed it in a very different way. I did not realize that is a trait that is common for that generation. I just knew it annoyed me as I did not know when to take him seriously. He then lamented I did not really know him due to being annoyed by the constant humour which many times just was not appropriate when one wants to have a very serious conversation. I may as well have been with a clown. I guess I have to face it. I do not understand xers. He showed himself as quite a bit more serious and sincere online and even on skype. He was like another person when I was there with him. He did not explain why he had to make everything a joke. I like a good joke, but not when I want to sit down and discuss a mature topic. I felt so disconnected and it made me so upset and frustrated. It was like being in a relationship with a wee boy. Just as well it did not work out. He thought buying me loads of things would win me over. All I wanted was him and to have a sincere deep mature relationship with him which I could not have.
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