09-30-2016, 10:01 AM
(09-29-2016, 11:00 PM)taramarie Wrote: Well after many many many years I have finally snapped and told my mother how i really feel after she called me a bitch for just calmly telling her to stop stressing over a tiny thing. She does this all the time and stresses me out. She does it to control me. Yes she plays mind games. I have finally told her how i feel and it felt good to get that off my chest. However i had to do the full thing through fb as she does not listen, explodes, name calls and dismisses me. Here is my full message.
"Apparently according to my mother i am a "b*tch" because I calmly told her to calm down and i will wash my socks tomorrow as she was not happy that i went outside with my socks on. So what! Mum, if we are to live under the same roof I have to tell you this right now. I do not need your freaking out over the slightest thing then not talking to me for several days while you bang and slam things. I will not walk around egg shells with you. I do need you to also stop calling me names. It is abusive and gone on too long. Address me as an adult should please and stop freaking out over the slightest things. They are socks. I can wash them if you do not want to. This has to end. I have seen other mother/daughter relationships and how great they get along and i wish we had that. I will not be controlled through your temper/stress and name calling any longer. And do not call it rubbish because that is how I feel and have felt for many years. If you consider it rubbish you do not care about how i feel. It just pushes us away further and further deteriorates ties. if you ignore me for this you are not winning anything. Doing so is just avoiding, hurting our relationship further and is childish tbh. I am over it."
The silence kills and so it felt great to finally have the spine to stand up to her as an ill relationship is so toxic and crushing. I am over it guys. I have lived with this and grown up with it my whole life and her menopause has just made things worse. After many years i stood up to her and now we shall see what happens next. She cannot throw me out as i stay to feed us both. She cannot survive without my help.
Your mother needs help, and I don't mean domestic help. I've seen other tales of her irresponsibility. To enjoy adult freedom one must accept some adult responsibility for behavior and finances. Does she have a chemical problem?
Few people can fully satisfy the dreams of their parents. All that one can legitimately expect of offspring is honorable lives.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.