07-28-2017, 03:23 PM
So our 20-year old moved back home (temporarily, so we're told) after being away for school, and I've noticed something that I'm now seeing resonating across the rest of society ... and am wondering if this is a symptom of the 4T: valuing style/perception over content/knowledge.
He (and his girlfriend) are massively concerned with how they're perceived. All teens/early twenty-somethings are. But this seems like something different. They're both overly concerned with how to build their followers on social media to the point where they don't have anything of real value to contribute, they're just completely focused on the numbers. Then there's personal style - fashion; it's pretty crazy how they not only care in the extreme about how others see them, but how they judge others based only on appearance. I really don't think we raised him this way (obviously I'm not exactly objective here) - but it seems there's a much larger societal pressure this way than when I was young.
On top of this I'm noticing tons of examples in popular culture - movies & tv - where all kinds of people including professionals (doctors, lawyers, whatever) succeed not because they know stuff, but rather because they simply care whereas nobody else does, & they just try really really hard to solve whatever the problem is. In many cases it's positioned that smart people are themselves the problem, & that the people who care need to work around them. Apparently knowing stuff doesn't matter anymore, you just have to really really really care.
I don't remember reading about this in the book, but it's been a while since I read it ... is this an expected feature of 4T's? it seems that I'm going to have a real hard time with this!!!
He (and his girlfriend) are massively concerned with how they're perceived. All teens/early twenty-somethings are. But this seems like something different. They're both overly concerned with how to build their followers on social media to the point where they don't have anything of real value to contribute, they're just completely focused on the numbers. Then there's personal style - fashion; it's pretty crazy how they not only care in the extreme about how others see them, but how they judge others based only on appearance. I really don't think we raised him this way (obviously I'm not exactly objective here) - but it seems there's a much larger societal pressure this way than when I was young.
On top of this I'm noticing tons of examples in popular culture - movies & tv - where all kinds of people including professionals (doctors, lawyers, whatever) succeed not because they know stuff, but rather because they simply care whereas nobody else does, & they just try really really hard to solve whatever the problem is. In many cases it's positioned that smart people are themselves the problem, & that the people who care need to work around them. Apparently knowing stuff doesn't matter anymore, you just have to really really really care.
I don't remember reading about this in the book, but it's been a while since I read it ... is this an expected feature of 4T's? it seems that I'm going to have a real hard time with this!!!
"But there's a difference between error and dishonesty, and it's not a trivial difference." - Ben Greenman
"Relax, it'll be all right, and by that I mean it will first get worse."
"How was I supposed to know that there'd be consequences for my actions?" - Gina Linetti
"Relax, it'll be all right, and by that I mean it will first get worse."
"How was I supposed to know that there'd be consequences for my actions?" - Gina Linetti