Careers ruined or at risk from accusations of sexual misconduct

[pbrower2a]

(07-09-2019, 10:01 AM)beechnut79 Wrote:

(12-16-2017, 04:26 PM)pbrower2a Wrote: Dustin Hoffman was apparently doing this when Carter was President -- back in the Boom Awakening.

The Sexual Revolution was an unmitigated disaster for children. That's when male homosexuality expressed itself as the now-disgraced NAMbLA (North American Man-Boy Love Association)... not to say that little girls weren't prey for men, too.  The repudiation of predatory sexuality proceeded sporadically and with practical reversals through the degenerate Culture Wars when such behavior was likely to be covered up if there was no dead body with signs of sexual misconduct  lying around. Bureaucratic organizations covered up sexual harassment with insurance settlements that made the cost of doing business needlessly expensive.

Child sexual abuse was never really legal during the Boom Awakening, but it was easy to get away with. If one turned out profitable films as did Roman Polanski, one could get away with great misconduct. And let's not forget the First Fornicator, Bill Clinton.

The times are changing, and they are changing fast. Sure, we have same-sex marriage -- sure, because mainstream gays and lesbians threw the perverts in front of the bus. Not that that was wrong. Homosexuality is no more a choice than (pardon the repetition) Asperger's syndrome. I have no use for violence against gays and lesbians, having been mistaken for a homosexual and threatened with a beating. Aside from same-sex marriage and acceptance of transgender rights, we are entering a more repressive time for sexuality.

I doubt that we will quite return to arranged marriages, but there is good reason for dating sites that function in many ways like Yenta* in Fiddler on the Roof.  There might be good reason to consider dates involving co-workers, as people get to know co-workers very well. Just avoid dangerous obsession.  

The message coming out of the entertainment, news, and political sectors so clearly now may be less visible in academia and Corporate America... sexual harassment is no longer a prerogative of power. The idea that sexual harassment and exploitation demonstrate the reality of alpha males (mostly) may be repudiated. It is happening fast. Rapidly-moving events and trends show the quickening pace of a Crisis Era.

*Maybe I could have used an encounter with someone of the type back in the late '70s or early '80s. I needed to get involved with someone who would push me some and be able to say NO to me when I became a crashing bore. Probably some feminist... but any woman who got mixed up with me would have become a feminist if she wasn/t one to begin with.

I shall now attempt a breakdown in response to this post, paragraph by paragraph:

During the time Carter was President, while many considered him boring and ineffective, sexual dalliances became almost normal behavior albeit not near the extent of becoming an "anything goes" world.

as the 2T was morphing into a 3T, and the Carter malaise was about to give way to the flamboyant expressions of 3T indulgence as expressions of elite status or prole pretense... sexuality was as much an expression of such as was going to the mall for some mindless shopping  back then.

Quote:I happen to be one person who misses much of the euphoria of the sexual revolution days and hope that sometimes before my days come to an end we can go back to the spirit of having fun again. Right now there is a movement to at least decriminalize if not totally legalize sex work, and if successful could prove a boom to some rural counties in states other than Nevada which has already done so. It could also make it more affordable to the masses. Right now average cost of a personal escort is from 300 to 500 dollars per hour, totally out of reach of all but the top 9 or 10 percent income wise. Am I in the extreme minority as one who misses the fervor of those freer, more swinging times?

I came of age just as AIDS was beginning to ravage sexual revelers. I got scared. Who knows? With my looks (I had natural hair color -- frosted blond over dark brown -- that women would kill for when I was in my late teens and early twenties, I could carry on a conversation, and I could control myself sexually... maybe I could have been the male equivalent of a female 'escort'? I was brought up in the wrong tradition for becoming such.

A 4T is often a bleak time, and we have the inequity of a degenerate 3T with the morbid fear of a 4T, so this is a particularly-unsettling time. It is easy to wax nostalgic about any prior time  after the last 3T (not that I have ever heard anyone wax nostalgic about the 1920s except about getting their youth back). The last 4T solved lots of problems in America, which makes even it more attractive than what we now endure. Follow the prescriptions of our economic elites, and America will be a nightmare in which economic elites tell the rest of us something  like

Suffer for my greed, power, and indulgence, you peon, or you will experience even greater pain and shame than you can imagine. Don't forget to smile in adulation!... such is exactly what one gets when the ruling elite well fits the description of 'mirror image Marxism' -- believing that capitalism is a cruel, corrupt, hierarchical, and repressive order but that such is right!

Quote:Underage sex was already being cracked down upon more even by the last 2T. A perfect example of how we had lost our innocent was with a song titled "You're Sixteen". When the original version by Johnny Burnette topped the charts in the early 1960s it was considered an innocent song of admiration for one's girlfriend. But by the time Ringo Star did the remake of it a decade later there was all this warning that if you mess with someone that age you could go to jail. Such talk was for the most part absent when the original version was on the charts.

The threat of jail time was out there, but it was not automatic. Maybe it was automatic if one was an eighteen-year old black male caught with a fifteen-year-old white girl... I  remember seeing such a story about twenty years ago, The black male had been raised by a white family, so you can just imagine what his ideas of female beauty was. He would have gotten away with a fifteen-year-old black girl, as I noticed in that discussion in the long-defunct Forums of the New York Times. The system let Roman Polanski get away and apparently let Michael Jackson (and for a time) Bill Cosby get away with it. Aside from recognizing LGBT rights, the American legal system has become much less sympathetic to sexual harassment and outright rape.

Quote:As for Paragraph 4, I also have been mistaken for a homo, and had the word "fag" shouted out to me a few times. Was once even propositioned by a gay hooker. Told him he had the wrong person. I too am an Aspie, but I had a different approach than you did. If I were ever going to write an autobiography the title would probably be "Ladies' Man Dreams". Am even considering creating a separate thread with this title. I long held the dream of being this man who could have a different woman on his arm nearly every night. Even with Aspergers I still managed a mock version of such during the 1970s and 1980s, when there were plenty of low budget dating services around. I did get my share of dates through these services. However, there were a significant number of cancellations and many of said dating situation were of the "one and done" variety. I did not do well, however, in social clubs. I was primarily a member of two of them and felt like I was pretty much a black sheep at both. I was called on the carpet for actions such as putting my arm around some of the women even though other men not in a steady relationship with said women seemed to be able to get away with it. Such made me feel misunderstood, and yet I did not want to isolate myself until many, many years later. You seem to have indicated on posts  here that this was the route you took when you became aware of your condition. Remember, Aspergers didn't become official until 1994. And it was five years after that before I learned why I did not have a normal growing up experience. Back then those who for some reason didn't fit in with the larger society were sent to languish in boarding schools as children and later in places such as sanitariums as adults. The former was my domain for so many years that once I finally did get the opportunity pleasure became my number one priority. Probably would still be today except that I could never afford the price tag for it. I am now wondering if it is possible to look at the situation another way and be able to find some middle ground that allows everyone to move forward with their feelings and dignity intact. I don't believe anyone can become a successful ladies' man in his 70s. Do you? And do you feel that the very term "ladies' man" is more derogatory than it once was? And does it take the trifecta of lots of money, killer good looks and designer clothes to get the job done?

My fantasy has been clearly heterosexual, but in a long-lasting relationship. It would have been outside my ethnic group because my extended family has some real hang-ups on sex. Mostly it is to endorse an insipid culture (hick German-American) that offers little but unexamined tradition. Even the cuisine is awful.

My parents got transferred to northern California about as I was in my teens, and had I stayed there I might have gotten involved with women from a more intellectual tradition (and you can probably figure out what that meant). I found a love for classical music -- and contrary to myth, that is not part of hick-German-American life. (Hick German-Americans listen passively to country music, largely). Maybe musical structure and rich counterpoint could reach me as other music could not.

Wise people do not ratify themselves with material indulgence. Material indulgence is shallow, and it gets in the way of the life of the mind which is more satisfying. In a hard time, I need only go to the public library with some headphones, and I can listen to Bruckner's glorious seventh symphony in the knowledge of its predictable delights drawn over an hour or so -- rather rare knowledge. Material indulgence is more effective at dissipating personal assets than at creating them. I would rather own some profitable vending machines than a glitzy car and extravagant suits or costly (but witless) trips to casinos or amusement parks. I would love to have done some foreign travel, which along with economic security is all that I envy about the rich. Expensive sports cars? One way in which I might seem to brag about my intelligence is that I lost the love for vehicular speed before I was old enough to get a driver's license. I wouldn't know what to do with a sports car any more than a moron would know what to do with the collected works of Plato.

With Aspergers's, many of what are the right choices for others are catastrophic for oneself. In the tough economic times, wise career advice is often to swallow one's pride, do a miserable low-paying job, and wait your turn for an opportunity. Retail sales was one of the worst choices for me. Some people can suffer with a smile, but I am intolerant of such dishonest absurdity. I needed some competent and reliable advice, including some reasonable redirection of purpose. My parents told me to stay clear of the mental health system because of horrible things done to people. Well, I am certifiably not crazy. Maybe too rational for my own good, but that is useful in the right environment. I'm not going to get taken down by drugs and alcohol (one good thing about Asperger's is that one is not subject to addictive behavior from drugs to compulsive gambling), criminality, or driving a car at 120 mph.

So what would have been a happy life been for me? One wife, children (adopted if we don't want children to get a double dose of any genetic causes of Asperger's and become "Rain Man"), modest participation in the American consumer society, some solid investments (that fruit company operating out of Silicon Valley and the e-retailer with the name of a great river that does not flow through the USA, maybe some vending machines for soft drinks and live fishing lures, and perhaps a couple of rental properties) and I get to dress like a physician. That is an ironic choice, but physicians can get away with dressing without style. Maybe a creative hobby on the side. I'd rather paint Half Dome on an easel than climb it.