Controversial Political Opinions

[Eric the Green]

(06-17-2022, 09:51 AM)JasonBlack Wrote: I think you can be forgiven for not having a sense of duty in your early 20s. Almost no one really understands it at that age, including me. For people who have to come to their own conclusions (rather than people who just naturally follow orders, although society needs some of these too), the concept of "duty" doesn't make sense until they have something to protect or be responsible which they care about. For example, I think it's less useful to think in terms of "virginity" and more useful to think in terms of "does this person have the potential to be a supportive wife, or simply a person I can have a bit of fun with?". The former inspires men to be dutiful, the latter does not.

I think "caring about" is a more authentic and alive function than "duty."

Quote:, Eric the Green]
In our age, people are discovering that they can find the lifestyle that works best for them, and determine their own ethics, not just obey what family or society requires them to do as a duty

Quote:I guess to those people, I would ask "how is that working for you?" imo, the relevance of "duty" to the conversation of dating is less "who do you want to be with?" or "what conventional/unconventional roles do you want?" and more "do you actually have the patience, discipline and communication skills to make things last when you do find someone you're compatible with?". 

On a collective level, the question of "how is that working for you?" is still relevant, and it's even easier to answer: about as poorly as could possibly be expected. Sure, there are a lot of economic problems that are out of most people's direct control, and this is going to take its toll on mental health but we can and must control how we manage our most important relationships, both platonic and romantic. Too much "follow your passion" has led to a culture of lonely, unfulfilled and, quite frankly, mentally ill swings of serial monogamy. It turns out that most people have a tendency to choose people who are very bad for them, whether it's men being attracted to women with borderline personality traits or women being attracted to bad boy, sociopathic rebels (there is even a body of evidence that show that men find sex with "crazy" women more satisfying, and these are double blind, so the guy doesn't know he choosing a girl like this). 

As a society, we talk a lot about mental health issues, but frankly, most of what we encourage as a solution to such problems is just doubling down on what caused them in the first place. Decades of research have shown us the brutal effects that fatherlessness has on young boys, the positive effects of stable monogamous relationships on mental and physical health, the significantly higher happiness ratings of people who exhibit the combination of patience and assertiveness to work through nasty relationship problems, etc. 

Sorry, but...the undeniable truth is that American society needs a lot more work when it comes to doing your duty. Rising Civic generations begin taking the helm during 4th turnings for a reason. After 2/3 decades of only knowing shit not working, even more individualistic people start to think "ya know, maybe we should...actually develop some rules to follow".

I would prefer the idea of adhering to principle rather than doing your duty. That which is done out of love, is superior quality to that which is done out of duty. Real life has to spring from within, not imposed from without. That doesn't at all mean that life is only individualistic. I disagree with that approach. Real life is caring, and that includes caring for others. "What do you want" and "Can you act and behave according to virtue" are both worthwhile concerns. Monogamy may work better for the majority of people, if it is available to them. I don't consider that it was available to me, whether rightly or wrongly on my part. But I have heard the research that suggests married people are happier. I disagree that one size fits all, and I support people finding their own way. I agree with "follow your passion," but a passion for truth, virtue and caring is just as passionate as following sensual desires; if not considerably more so. I don't knock those who choose monogamy. I do knock those who knock those who don't, and who seek to impose the morality on others that was imposed on themselves.