Introducing the Conservative Green New Deal

[JasonBlack]

As most of you know, I'm sympathetic to the goals of environmentalism, but I despise the misanthropic luddites and anti-natalist hippies that tend to spearhead them. As such, I think we need to define a new environmental infrastructure deal on our terms. 

First off...how a re we going to pay for it? 
1) Double the estate tax owed on foreign-owned, residential homes (that's right. those friggin Chinese commies better pay up for gtfo). 
2) Good ol' legalize-n-tax weed. 
3) Add a national tax on high fructose corn syrup.
4) Require that all donors to political campaigns or parties pay an equal, corresponding amount to infrastructure projects. 
5) Decrease agricultural subsidies by 30% 


Now then, let's begin
1) Begin construction of high speed rail all across the country. If necessary, eminent domain will pay out 125% of market value for all property seized. 
2) Where possible, begin construction of underground tunnel highways in major metropolitan areas
3) Where possible increase interstate highways to 4 lanes, urban highways to 6 lanes and dense, metropolitan highways to 8 policies. Additionally, individual states may apply for grants to increase country backroads from 1 to 2 lanes. 
4) Add at least one nuclear power plant to every major metropolitan center, and at least 2 more per state. 
5) Increase funding for alternative energy-related R&D by 500%
6) Pay homeless people to plant trees and shrubs. Appoint a team of ecologists to oversee the operation to ensure this is done in a way that mirrors the ratios of native flora. 
7) Set up charging stations for electric vehicles around the country.