Millennial Women Empowered

[JasonBlack]

(08-22-2022, 11:32 AM)sbarrera Wrote: Jason,

With regard to your list of points- a working relationship depends on a sense of mutual respect and an ability to communicate no matter who the partners are. It is not just women who are critical or passive aggressive or emotionally manipulative. All of your points work both ways, or with same sex partners.

Sure, I listed one such counter-example, but I could list several more. Hell, I'm into guys, so it's less directly relevant to me, but the point is that, on balance, men and women are pretty different psychologically and have different needs, desires and sexual preferences. Naturally, this will vary by individual, but that's why, when I enter into a new relationship, we sit down, have a talk about what each of us needs and is willing to give and then make a straight up contract.

Quote:Frankly, they apply to nonromantic relationships too (minus the sex stuff). Sustaining a relationship requires willingness to listen and to be open-minded, and commitment and hard work. That is the real key to a successful relationship - it is an ongoing project. There's no bulletpoint list that once you satisfy it, then boom! the relationship works.

Absolutely. The main difference is that in romantic relationships, you have duties to meet each others needs that don't exist for platonic friendships. I'll give you an example: I'm currently seeing someone who (hmm...how to put this politely...) is very submissive and gets aroused by some behaviors I would consider a little too forceful. As such, I don't find them that appealing, but I'm willing to play along so that he feels like his needs are getting satisfied. Meanwhile, my needs tend to be a little more cuddly/affectionate, so he makes an effort to meet mine too.

Quote:As for expecting a wife to provide sexual service, that is just gross. That's what you expect from a prostitute, not a spouse.

That's like saying "You expect your husband to protect you? Isn't that the military's job?" The notion that it's okay to just...not have sex with your spouse because you don't feel like it is recent and almost uniquely American. An agreement of "if you expect me not to fuck other people, you need to make sure you fuck me regularly" is entirely reasonable. Otherwise....go with someone polygamous.


Many Boomer and Xer couples couples eventually found what works for them, but the vast majority of millennials have train wreck relationship histories they have no business encouraging others to emulate. This is fine. Many of us are still pretty young, and these things take time, but...so many people are out there being super moralistic about this advice, even when they themselves are miserable doing exactly that. I've had several iterations of millennials trying to talk to me about relationships and responded like "your exes are all abusive sociopaths. why the hell would I trust anything you say?" or "tell me more about how happy you were dating all those feminazis with BPD (hint: you weren't. you complained to me about them several times)." This probably comes across as mean, and I think it's important to remember that we all make mistakes, but those mistakes should become behavioral norms we encourage people NOT to imitate. For example, I've had a few bad apples, but I learned to spot both my own mistakes and bad character traits in my partners to avoid in the future, and since then, all my relationships have been great.