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What's going on with you, part II...
Well, we cut the cable down to the barest basic (where I live I am seventy miles from the broadcast tower, so if we are to get anything at all) to save some money. I'm watching far less broadcast TV, and it is almost entirely PBS. We couldn't get along without the Internet.

Unfortunately, much of the news has to come from Sinclair (a/k/a "Stinking Liar") Broadcasting... At least I am in the range of radio broadcasting from a freer country -- Canada.

Poverty forces hard, often callous choices. I think of all the nastiest regimes in existence, and the one thing they all have in common is that they ensure that the common man is flat broke, bored, and lonely ("Bored, broke, and lonely" -- it certainly sounds like the title of a woe-laden country song, doesn't it?) so that they can think that an exploitative deal is generosity, bored for a lack of choices so that a propaganda rally is exciting, and lonely so that a controlled crowd can be fellowship. That's Nazi Germany, that's Stalin's Soviet Union, that's Apartheid-era South Africa for anyone not white; that's any feudal state; that's Ba'athist Iraq. We're not there yet, but we are headed there if we Americans vote for Trump in 2020.

The dog seems to be showing himself approaching the end; he is going blind from cataracts, and there is nothing I can do about that. With little money I am stranded in the hick town in which I was born, the sort of place I outgrew long ago except for finances. But this is America in 2019, where money is everything, spirit is nothing, and human virtues are reduced to cheap sentimentality. And, yes, Donald Trump is President.

I am in a worse family situation than I was in when I was taking care of my parents. My brother brought his girlfriend here from out of state, and she hates it here. She thinks I am a a malingerer because I seem unable to hold a job. It's Asperger's, and I am looking for ways in which to adapt. Is it any surprise? When I wrote some movie reviews I occasionally panned a really-bad movie with the line "this flick is probably best appreciated drunk, on drugs, or with a low IQ".

Sometimes I think that life for anyone not already rich is a grim contest to determine who can suffer the most for people with great wealth or bureaucratic power but no conscience. For all the nastiness in life, one is expected to give that big, theatrical "Happy to serve you!" smile in most public-contact jobs even if one so hates life that some situations in Dante's Inferno don't seem so bad. Unfortunately, those are only for those who refuse to accept Jesus as Savior. OK, so maybe I would love to listen to music by Copland and Gershwin, listen to lectures on physics from Richard Feynman and on astronomy from Carl Sagan, get to see what Anne Frank and Pavel Ginz are up to, and enjoy some Kabuki theater. Dante tells us that one of the leading figures of political life in that part of Hell is Saladin -- the George Washington of his time. Only problem -- my vices are worse than disbelief.

I must say this: at this point, I am not afraid of death -- only of its agony, and of Hell as a consequence of my sins -- worst of all, wasting my talents.

So far as I understand there is no magic bullet for Asperger's syndrome -- and nobody can philosophize or psychoanalyze his way out of a horrid situation.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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Hi Taramarie. We've missed you.
Intelligence is not knowledge and knowledge is not wisdom, but they all play well together.
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It's ironic, isn't it? As our technologies of production become so wondrous that they can meet all middle-class desires of the 1950s (except for real estate) for all,  the right-wingers take over and make their wealth and power the sole concerns of society as they define it. I saw predictions of a world more like The Jetsons than of The Hunger Games.

America's economic elites are no longer entrepreneurial innovators; they have mostly become money-grabbing, exclusive, self-indulgent creeps. A hundred years ago the innovative capitalists had the wisdom to give workers as stake in the system through a broad-based education and a consumer society. Donald Trump represents almost everything wrong with America: racial and religious bigotry, economic elitism, crass vulgarity, cruelty, and contempt for the intellect. Trump is not an entrepreneur; he is simply a profiteer who would sell out everything so long as he gets his cut. He has a morality closer to that of John Gotti than to Bill Gates.

If there is any reliable lesson in history, it is that bad leaders get bad results, whether with a cult leader like Charles Manson with a tiny clique or a syphilis-ravaged national leader like Lenin or Hitler.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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I am getting over the worst upper-respiratory infection ever -- a double-whammy of strep and the flu. I had pain in seemingly every muscle in my body. I have a five-day supply of antibiotics for the flu and a ten-day supply for the strep. Apparently you do overkill on strep, a dangerous illness.

The muscle pains are in recession.

Here in Michigan we are preparing for -40 (it is the same in degrees Fahrenheit or Celsius) wind chills .
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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(01-30-2019, 12:03 AM)taramarie Wrote:
(01-30-2019, 12:00 AM)pbrower2a Wrote: I am getting over the worst upper-respiratory infection ever -- a double-whammy of strep and the flu. I had pain in seemingly every muscle in my body. I have a five-day supply of antibiotics for the flu and a ten-day supply for the strep. Apparently you do overkill on strep, a dangerous illness.

The muscle pains are in recession.

Here in Michigan we are preparing for -40 (it is the same in degrees Fahrenheit or Celsius) wind chills .

Sorry to hear you are so ill. I know that feeling and it is worse when you suffer acute asthma like myself. Try keep yourself warm, dont need pneumonia on top of it ae. I also am trying to battle several infections all at once. Keep us updated on how you are ok? Hope for a speedy recovery for you.

Well, I got over the combined infections. I am surprised that I do not yet qualify for the pneumonia vaccine; as I get older, every upper-respiratory infection seems to get worse, and I can  almost predict that should I die without human or natural violence, that pneumonia will be on my death certificate.

I am going for vocational rehab. As I find out, I will need to relocate to some other place, likely 60 miles (100 kilometers) farther away just to find  work that isn't extremely-repetitive farm or factory work or the sort of retail work in which I am likely to brood.  The state wants me off the pittance of unemployment and back in the consumer economy...

Life in rural America can be deathly boring.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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My Dad passed away today. Somewhat of a shock, but not much-he was 94 years old.

The shock has, oddly enough, a somewhat surreal quality.

I am now an orphan. My mother passed away September 2016. My aunts and uncles are going rapidly too.
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(03-23-2019, 06:51 PM)Tim Randal Walker Wrote: My Dad passed away today.  He was 94 years old.

I am now an orphan.  My mother passed away Sept. '16.

My aunts and uncles are going rapidly too.

I can only imagine how rough that is, especially if you developed a strong bond. Unless he was a monster, you surely developed a bond. You seem like the sort to bond well with others.

My parents were not models of easy-going modernity, and I had thought that I would get out from under their thumbs. I find that they are in my dreams more often than is comfortable. I keep thinking of what they would do.

What's so terrible about being 63? One is expected to be a repository of sage advice, and even with a high IQ and all sorts of learning one can feel inadequate.

When my father was in rehab for a broken hip (he got over the broken hip, but he went senile) I asked him what he most wanted to see.

The Masters (golf tournament). It was spring, and I figured that he would be ready to go on a long road trip to a part of the country in which I had never been. He could no longer play golf, but he could appreciate the beauty of the game. But that seemed reasonable enough. We would get to see the Great Smokies, and maybe Shenandoah together and perhaps take some side trips. You probably heard the story -- he became violent and abusive, and obviously unmanageable and unpresentable.

Remember the best and forget the worst? That asks for way too much.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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Now that I have gotten past the initial shock of my Dad's passing, I have begun to sense a void.

In terms of family generations.....

During the first 62 years of my life, there was always at least one older generation. At this point that is only just barely the case. Of my few remaining aunts/uncles, one uncle on my mother's side of family might last another decade-he was the baby of the family.

For my siblings, cousins, and me, soon there will be no older generation.
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(03-25-2019, 08:40 PM)Tim Randal Walker Wrote: Now that I have gotten past the initial shock of my Dad's passing, I have begun to sense a void.

In terms of family generations.....

During the first 62 years of my life, there was always at least one older generation.  At this point that is only just barely the case.  Of my few remaining aunts/uncles, one uncle on my mother's side of family might last another decade-he was the baby of the family.

For my siblings, cousins, and me, soon there will be no older generation.

There are always regrets for me of things that we might have done together but didn't -- had I been more persuasive. That is one time in which some of us encounter anew how imperfect we are.

I hope that I get the opportunity to share life with someone who appreciates what I have to offer. I live only 150 miles away -- and I have never heard a live concert of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. That is still on my bucket list. I was in Chicago on a day that Alfred Brendel was playing the last three piano sonatas of Beethoven -- magnificent works played by a pianist who got the nuances with his analytical style. And I could really kick myself for not seeing Red Skelton when he was in Kalamazoo.

(But at least I had what by many opinions is the best beer in the world. It has a distinctive nutty flavor).

Nobody's wisdom is perfect. And this is not about buying into some growth stock when it was a penny stock and seeing an investment of $75 become 750 grand just before I sold out of it in the summer of 2007, or getting in on the ground floor of a company that put my life in the economic stratosphere.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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(03-23-2019, 06:51 PM)Tim Randal Walker Wrote: My Dad passed away today.  Somewhat of a shock, but not much-he was 94 years old.

The shock has, oddly enough, a somewhat surreal quality.

I am now an orphan.  My mother passed away September 2016.  My aunts and uncles are going rapidly too.

Very sorry for your loss.
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(03-25-2019, 08:40 PM)Tim Randal Walker Wrote: Now that I have gotten past the initial shock of my Dad's passing, I have begun to sense a void.

In terms of family generations.....

During the first 62 years of my life, there was always at least one older generation.  At this point that is only just barely the case.  Of my few remaining aunts/uncles, one uncle on my mother's side of family might last another decade-he was the baby of the family.

For my siblings, cousins, and me, soon there will be no older generation.

This is what Strauss & Howe predicted for the Boomers...
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That sounds horrible! Having had gout bedeveling an ankle, I can only imagine what that feels like.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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(05-27-2019, 01:22 AM)taramarie Wrote: So, I have an eustation tube dysfunction in my left ear and I have an ATFL rupture with partial thickness CFL tear and deep deltoid contusion. I also have a cleft of fluid undercutting the talar attachment and I have a small ankle joint effusion. I will hear from my surgeon on Thursday about what needs to be done.

-- hope all goes well with the surgery
Heart my 2 yr old Niece/yr old Nephew 2020 Heart
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Good luck, Taramarie.
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(05-29-2019, 01:24 AM)taramarie Wrote: Just got the news from my physio as one of my main ligaments snapped in half that I will need surgery. FUCK!!

Good luck with the surgery.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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(05-30-2019, 05:16 PM)taramarie Wrote: Spoke to my surgeon yesterday. Yes I will be soon having an operation on my ankle and wont be able to walk on it for a month straight. Great.....on the plus side, here in NZ we have UHC and the surgeon said it wont cost me a cent. Yes I know....taxes. But I wont be lumped with a massive bill at the end unlike if I lived in America. I am glad to be a kiwi. I can just focus on healing and learning to walk again on it.

-- when it comes time 4 pt do it in the water. You will feel no pain
Heart my 2 yr old Niece/yr old Nephew 2020 Heart
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No, unlike solid surfaces, water does not put so much pressure on the feet that one stands on. Water yields; floors, pavement, and soil don't.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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(05-31-2019, 01:58 AM)taramarie Wrote:
(05-31-2019, 01:55 AM)pbrower2a Wrote: No, unlike solid surfaces, water does not put so much pressure on the feet that one stands on. Water yields; floors, pavement, and soil don't.

So it is a good idea to go to a warm pool (as it is winter here) and go practice walking (after the forbidden month after surgery) and practice walking in a warm pool maybe?

That is up to a physician. I am not a physician.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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Good luck with the operation.
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Good luck, taramarie.
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