First of all I will let you know that this is the husband half of "weareacouple" posting this however my wife feels the same as I do about the subjects. We have been married for 25 years and admitted to each other very early that we are both addicted to sex. When we are together we have a great sex life, however we both travel for our jobs (as she is this week) and when we are apart we both use porn and masturbation to get our needs met. Several of our friends (especially church friends) say that it is wrong and even cheating on our mate. When asked "why" they never have a good answer.
I am posting on here today to try and get an honest and open discussion going on the subject that it seems no one wants to talk about.
I am posting the picture in this thread to let everyone know that I am willing to be completely honest open and frank about whatever is asked or discussed and not someone that will hide behind a fake forum picture. Hope to get an interesting conversation going.
It devolves to ideas of the days of early civilization in which life was extremely precarious and much of what passed as knowledge was in practice superstition. Masturbation was a waste of sperm, as was homosexuality, especially when people needed to produce large numbers of children to offset the Malthusian checks of war, famine, disease, and crime.
In more recent times, puritanical thought established the idea (this coincides with the novel values of the new commercial societies that any enjoyment of life was denying one the opportunity to create wealth -- if not for oneself, then at least for an early capitalist). Sex for its own sake? An abomination! Besides, there was no safe treatment for syphilis, a risk of any reveler.
Cheating on your spouse is still a bad idea. You will leave clues as in your credit-card statements. Someone might count the condoms and draw conclusions that you find unwelcome.
If you have an addiction to sex, then get help! Bad habits are usually worth the costs of freeing oneself of them.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.
(01-08-2020, 10:38 AM)pbrower2a Wrote: It devolves to ideas of the days of early civilization in which life was extremely precarious and much of what passed as knowledge was in practice superstition. Masturbation was a waste of sperm, as was homosexuality, especially when people needed to produce large numbers of children to offset the Malthusian checks of war, famine, disease, and crime.
In more recent times, puritanical thought established the idea (this coincides with the novel values of the new commercial societies that any enjoyment of life was denying one the opportunity to create wealth -- if not for oneself, then at least for an early capitalist). Sex for its own sake? An abomination! Besides, there was no safe treatment for syphilis, a risk of any reveler.
Cheating on your spouse is still a bad idea. You will leave clues as in your credit-card statements. Someone might count the condoms and draw conclusions that you find unwelcome.
If you have an addiction to sex, then get help! Bad habits are usually worth the costs of freeing oneself of them.
Sorry to rain on your parade but I am one person who dearly misses the heady days of the sexual revolution when, for the male gender, a hard penis was as good as hard currency. Would like to see decriminalization of sex work for no other reason than its prohibition hasn't been any more effective than it was with liquor a century ago. In designated places though, not all over the streets. Sort of like the way gambling expansion has occurred.
Any of you feel that those who back in the day promoted things like free love are now among the most uptight people?
(01-08-2020, 10:38 AM)pbrower2a Wrote: It devolves to ideas of the days of early civilization in which life was extremely precarious and much of what passed as knowledge was in practice superstition. Masturbation was a waste of sperm, as was homosexuality, especially when people needed to produce large numbers of children to offset the Malthusian checks of war, famine, disease, and crime.
In more recent times, puritanical thought established the idea (this coincides with the novel values of the new commercial societies that any enjoyment of life was denying one the opportunity to create wealth -- if not for oneself, then at least for an early capitalist). Sex for its own sake? An abomination! Besides, there was no safe treatment for syphilis, a risk of any reveler.
Cheating on your spouse is still a bad idea. You will leave clues as in your credit-card statements. Someone might count the condoms and draw conclusions that you find unwelcome.
If you have an addiction to sex, then get help! Bad habits are usually worth the costs of freeing oneself of them.
Thanks pbrower2a for getting involved with a subject that is mostly pushed behind closed doors even though it effects everyone.
I use the word addiction only because (for my wife and I) if fits because we seem to never have enough of it and I am thankful that I am married to another addict. We have been together for 25 years and never have cheated on each other. We contribute that to the use of porn and masturbation.
I completely agree with you Beachnut, The older generation is way too uptight about all 3 of the subjects in this thread and I would love for that to change, but I fear it will only get worse. Maybe this thread is my small way of trying to get that to happen and at least get people talking openly about these subjects.
Since my wife and I do have friends and family members on this forum, I will say here that this forum may be a little awkward for you, but I am willing to put myself "out there" if it helps get the conversation going.
I have already gotten a couple of private messages from people that say that I talk about nudity but the picture is far from nude and I am just a hypocrite. So I guess there is no pleasing some people LOL
(01-08-2020, 10:38 AM)pbrower2a Wrote: It devolves to ideas of the days of early civilization in which life was extremely precarious and much of what passed as knowledge was in practice superstition. Masturbation was a waste of sperm, as was homosexuality, especially when people needed to produce large numbers of children to offset the Malthusian checks of war, famine, disease, and crime.
In more recent times, puritanical thought established the idea (this coincides with the novel values of the new commercial societies that any enjoyment of life was denying one the opportunity to create wealth -- if not for oneself, then at least for an early capitalist). Sex for its own sake? An abomination! Besides, there was no safe treatment for syphilis, a risk of any reveler.
Cheating on your spouse is still a bad idea. You will leave clues as in your credit-card statements. Someone might count the condoms and draw conclusions that you find unwelcome.
If you have an addiction to sex, then get help! Bad habits are usually worth the costs of freeing oneself of them.
Sorry to rain on your parade but I am one person who dearly misses the heady days of the sexual revolution when, for the male gender, a hard penis was as good as hard currency. Would like to see decriminalization of sex work for no other reason than its prohibition hasn't been any more effective than it was with liquor a century ago. In designated places though, not all over the streets. Sort of like the way gambling expansion has occurred.
Any of you feel that those who back in the day promoted things like free love are now among the most uptight people?
I also miss the world before AIDS, which at one point was largely a sexually-transmitted disease. It's mostly IV drug use now. Except on homosexuality, which has gone mainstream, America has become more repressive of sexuality and less tolerant of deviant sexuality. Just look at high-profile figures Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein. America has cracked down on sexual abuse of children and spouse abuse (much of the latter related to demands for sex by a partner against the will of another).
LGBT rights are to no small extent a consequence of a crackdown on criminal violence against homosexuals, and this is the strongest of arguments for LGBT rights. Homosexuals and transgender people are what they are for reasons other than personal vice. (The vice is messing with children, which mainstream LGBT people excoriate like most straight people.
The hazards of sex workers to society are a triviality in contrast to the danger that the brutalized superego has toward sex workers. Prostitutes are the most likely victims of serial killers by occupational type. The late and unlamented Texas serial killer Kenneth McDuff said in one interview "I always killed prostitutes". Prostitutes are easy people to discount as having any rights at all, including the right to live, and it may surprise people that those who commit the most odious of crimes can see themselves more worthy of life than people who simply rent out their bodies for survival. Evil people can be as harshly judgmental as any Bible-thumper.
Maybe gays and lesbians include some competent writers and other creative people able to make their case effectively. People do not become homosexuals out of economic oppression. People become prostitutes due to economic and personal distress, having no alternatives due to parental abandonment and lack of education. Prostitutes rarely have above-average ability to stand up for themselves in creative activities. People capable of doing something else and having the chance to do something else frequently abandon prostitution. Prostitutes do not yet elicit sympathy or pity as they need.
Where prostitution is legal it is far safer. The gigolo has usually been acceptable, but the female prostitute is largely a pariah with no supporters. Maybe we need to grow up on prostitution as we have on homosexuality.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.
Thanks everyone for the nice private messages and for those with enough courage to give their thoughts in public on this thread. As I said in the opening to this thread I will continue to be as honest and open on this subject to keep a discussion going. Since getting home from the strip club about 1 AM, I will openly say that I have been watching porn and jacking cock.
(01-08-2020, 10:38 AM)pbrower2a Wrote: It devolves to ideas of the days of early civilization in which life was extremely precarious and much of what passed as knowledge was in practice superstition. Masturbation was a waste of sperm, as was homosexuality, especially when people needed to produce large numbers of children to offset the Malthusian checks of war, famine, disease, and crime.
In more recent times, puritanical thought established the idea (this coincides with the novel values of the new commercial societies that any enjoyment of life was denying one the opportunity to create wealth -- if not for oneself, then at least for an early capitalist). Sex for its own sake? An abomination! Besides, there was no safe treatment for syphilis, a risk of any reveler.
Cheating on your spouse is still a bad idea. You will leave clues as in your credit-card statements. Someone might count the condoms and draw conclusions that you find unwelcome.
If you have an addiction to sex, then get help! Bad habits are usually worth the costs of freeing oneself of them.
Sorry to rain on your parade but I am one person who dearly misses the heady days of the sexual revolution when, for the male gender, a hard penis was as good as hard currency. Would like to see decriminalization of sex work for no other reason than its prohibition hasn't been any more effective than it was with liquor a century ago. In designated places though, not all over the streets. Sort of like the way gambling expansion has occurred.
Any of you feel that those who back in the day promoted things like free love are now among the most uptight people?
I also miss the world before AIDS, which at one point was largely a sexually-transmitted disease. It's mostly IV drug use now. Except on homosexuality, which has gone mainstream, America has become more repressive of sexuality and less tolerant of deviant sexuality. Just look at high-profile figures Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein. America has cracked down on sexual abuse of children and spouse abuse (much of the latter related to demands for sex by a partner against the will of another).
LGBT rights are to no small extent a consequence of a crackdown on criminal violence against homosexuals, and this is the strongest of arguments for LGBT rights. Homosexuals and transgender people are what they are for reasons other than personal vice. (The vice is messing with children, which mainstream LGBT people excoriate like most straight people.
The hazards of sex workers to society are a triviality in contrast to the danger that the brutalized superego has toward sex workers. Prostitutes are the most likely victims of serial killers by occupational type. The late and unlamented Texas serial killer Kenneth McDuff said in one interview "I always killed prostitutes". Prostitutes are easy people to discount as having any rights at all, including the right to live, and it may surprise people that those who commit the most odious of crimes can see themselves more worthy of life than people who simply rent out their bodies for survival. Evil people can be as harshly judgmental as any Bible-thumper.
Maybe gays and lesbians include some competent writers and other creative people able to make their case effectively. People do not become homosexuals out of economic oppression. People become prostitutes due to economic and personal distress, having no alternatives due to parental abandonment and lack of education. Prostitutes rarely have above-average ability to stand up for themselves in creative activities. People capable of doing something else and having the chance to do something else frequently abandon prostitution. Prostitutes do not yet elicit sympathy or pity as they need.
Where prostitution is legal it is far safer. The gigolo has usually been acceptable, but the female prostitute is largely a pariah with no supporters. Maybe we need to grow up on prostitution as we have on homosexuality.
The fact that we have the more PC word sex worker, along with escort (a slight misnomer IMO) and courtesan may be a slight step in the right direction. Even high priced ones are often frozen out of the banking system.
(01-08-2020, 10:38 AM)pbrower2a Wrote: It devolves to ideas of the days of early civilization in which life was extremely precarious and much of what passed as knowledge was in practice superstition. Masturbation was a waste of sperm, as was homosexuality, especially when people needed to produce large numbers of children to offset the Malthusian checks of war, famine, disease, and crime.
In more recent times, puritanical thought established the idea (this coincides with the novel values of the new commercial societies that any enjoyment of life was denying one the opportunity to create wealth -- if not for oneself, then at least for an early capitalist). Sex for its own sake? An abomination! Besides, there was no safe treatment for syphilis, a risk of any reveler.
Cheating on your spouse is still a bad idea. You will leave clues as in your credit-card statements. Someone might count the condoms and draw conclusions that you find unwelcome.
If you have an addiction to sex, then get help! Bad habits are usually worth the costs of freeing oneself of them.
Sorry to rain on your parade but I am one person who dearly misses the heady days of the sexual revolution when, for the male gender, a hard penis was as good as hard currency. Would like to see decriminalization of sex work for no other reason than its prohibition hasn't been any more effective than it was with liquor a century ago. In designated places though, not all over the streets. Sort of like the way gambling expansion has occurred.
Any of you feel that those who back in the day promoted things like free love are now among the most uptight people?
I also miss the world before AIDS, which at one point was largely a sexually-transmitted disease. It's mostly IV drug use now. Except on homosexuality, which has gone mainstream, America has become more repressive of sexuality and less tolerant of deviant sexuality. Just look at high-profile figures Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein. America has cracked down on sexual abuse of children and spouse abuse (much of the latter related to demands for sex by a partner against the will of another).
LGBT rights are to no small extent a consequence of a crackdown on criminal violence against homosexuals, and this is the strongest of arguments for LGBT rights. Homosexuals and transgender people are what they are for reasons other than personal vice. (The vice is messing with children, which mainstream LGBT people excoriate like most straight people.
The hazards of sex workers to society are a triviality in contrast to the danger that the brutalized superego has toward sex workers. Prostitutes are the most likely victims of serial killers by occupational type. The late and unlamented Texas serial killer Kenneth McDuff said in one interview "I always killed prostitutes". Prostitutes are easy people to discount as having any rights at all, including the right to live, and it may surprise people that those who commit the most odious of crimes can see themselves more worthy of life than people who simply rent out their bodies for survival. Evil people can be as harshly judgmental as any Bible-thumper.
Maybe gays and lesbians include some competent writers and other creative people able to make their case effectively. People do not become homosexuals out of economic oppression. People become prostitutes due to economic and personal distress, having no alternatives due to parental abandonment and lack of education. Prostitutes rarely have above-average ability to stand up for themselves in creative activities. People capable of doing something else and having the chance to do something else frequently abandon prostitution. Prostitutes do not yet elicit sympathy or pity as they need.
Where prostitution is legal it is far safer. The gigolo has usually been acceptable, but the female prostitute is largely a pariah with no supporters. Maybe we need to grow up on prostitution as we have on homosexuality.
The fact that we have the more PC word sex worker, along with escort (a slight misnomer IMO) and courtesan may be a slight step in the right direction. Even high priced ones are often frozen out of the banking system.
although I have never used a prostitute, I agree that it should be legal if someone wants to.
ok I have to ask you for some information...Since several people have private messaged me and said that I say I am for nudity but didn't go completely naked in this post....Are they going to allow me to go completely naked on here???
(01-09-2020, 10:01 AM)weareacouple Wrote: ok I have to ask you for some information...Since several people have private messaged me and said that I say I am for nudity but didn't go completely naked in this post....Are they going to allow me to go completely naked on here???
I strongly doubt it. The only nudity allowed on this Forum is artistic nudity. Michelangelo's David would qualify.
There's plenty of porn easily attainable on the Web, but not here. I have reported pornographic spam, thank you.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.
(01-09-2020, 10:01 AM)weareacouple Wrote: ok I have to ask you for some information...Since several people have private messaged me and said that I say I am for nudity but didn't go completely naked in this post....Are they going to allow me to go completely naked on here???
I strongly doubt it. The only nudity allowed on this Forum is artistic nudity. Michelangelo's David would qualify.
There's plenty of porn easily attainable on the Web, but not here. I have reported pornographic spam, thank you.
(01-10-2020, 11:00 AM)Bill the Piper Wrote: Pornography is addictive, it's like heroin injected through the eyes.
Addiction is a miserable way of life, offering false simulation of safety and bliss to people who have neither. Gambling is a good example: casino gambling is a losing proposition, but gamblers feel like winners as they pump money into slog machines. There's a drug for almost every psychic need -- never mind that most such drugs solve nothing.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.
(01-10-2020, 11:00 AM)Bill the Piper Wrote: Pornography is addictive, it's like heroin injected through the eyes.
Addiction is a miserable way of life, offering false simulation of safety and bliss to people who have neither. Gambling is a good example: casino gambling is a losing proposition, but gamblers feel like winners as they pump money into slog machines. There's a drug for almost every psychic need -- never mind that most such drugs solve nothing.
Can you tell me what the down side of sex addiction is if you are married to another sex addict?
01-11-2020, 07:28 PM (This post was last modified: 01-12-2020, 01:32 PM by pbrower2a.)
(01-11-2020, 03:52 PM)weareacouple Wrote:
(01-10-2020, 11:57 AM)pbrower2a Wrote:
(01-10-2020, 11:00 AM)Bill the Piper Wrote: Pornography is addictive, it's like heroin injected through the eyes.
Addiction is a miserable way of life, offering false simulation of safety and bliss to people who have neither. Gambling is a good example: casino gambling is a losing proposition, but gamblers feel like winners as they pump money into slog machines. There's a drug for almost every psychic need -- never mind that most such drugs solve nothing.
Can you tell me what the down side of sex addiction is if you are married to another sex addict?
You will cast off whatever possibility you have for intellectual advancement and above-average performance on your job. (OK, since most people go nowhere by doing the jobs that they do that may have little relevance). You will create nothing while doing sex as often as you do, so you can be a real nothing to the rest of humanity. As with any addiction you will not grow as a person. I have seen alcoholics and addicts -- as a rule, they do not grow up. I had an uncle who died of cirrhosis at age 72... and this man was very childish in much of his behavior. He aged fast, as is so with alcoholics, but he had the emotional development of a teenager. Oh, he went around the country a lot... but he often ended his stories with something like "I went to Kansas City, and oh, did I get drunk".
Food addicts -- meaning extreme over-eaters? I have known many, and they are almost as miserable as druggies. If you want to know what a bore is, meet such people. What they do to their bodies is pitiable; there are people getting about in box stores by carts because they are too obese to get around such a store without getting exhausted. I am not going to disparage such carts in principle; I have used those during gout attacks. Do you want an indication of how boring they are? I never see such a person in a museum of any kind -- whether of art, science, industry, vehicles (aviation or automobiles), or history. Having never been to the Baseball Hall of Fame or the Museum of Rock and Roll -- can anyone tell me if grotesquely obese people go there?
It's much the same with shopaholics... "There's a shopping mall in Dallas and they have all those great stores, I bought this, I bought that"... Such people come off extremely hollow because what they share is empty. I would rather talk about the art that I saw or of the performance of a symphony or opera. (OK, I am a horrible intellectual snob, and I am a complete misfit where I happen to live... life goes like that at times). Religious fanatics? Insufferable. I am tempted to tell those who give "believe it or burn" arguments for young-earth creationism and the literal interpretation of the Flood of Noah to go to Hell. A world in which an anti-rational orthodoxy is mandatory for survival is a Hell. Compulsive gamblers? I know too much about the mathematics and economics. The glittering lights of Las Vegas are a display made possible by compulsive gamblers. Los Vegas has earned the appelation as "Lost Wages" for good reason.
You cannot share your life with others. What happens if your spouse dies? Then you are really alone, and having not grown up you will not be an attractive partner.
I have trouble dating because I am on the autistic spectrum with physical cause. Even my body is excessively rigid, so I don't dance well. But someone who can overlook my faults can know that I know how to make life interesting for the right person. I can tell you about the glories of nature (Tahquamenon Falls in Michigan is really better than Niagara; Yosemite National Park is magnificent, and I can get interested in just about any academic study. And, yes, I know exactly how to excite a woman.
Your problem isn't that you have too much sex; it is that you have too little of other things. So it is with addiction of any kind -- even if the addiction is classical music.
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.
