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Ladies' Man Dreams
If I ever were to write an autobiography this is no doubt the title I would give it.  Have mellowed a lot since, but I once had big dreams of becoming what has often been known as a ladies' man, one of those who could get just about any woman he wanted. Figured this would be the time to bare my soul on this because I will turn 76 next month, and it is highly doubtful that anyone suddenly becomes an overnight success at this at such an advanced age.  In fact it has only been in the past couple of year that I have heard the word mysogony bandied about. I was the opposite of a mysogonist, as I was one of these guys who liked women too much.

Not sure if there is any common word for my "disease", but it all began actually when I was still a child and there were television hosts at the time who would give lots of flattering compliments to their female guests. Also in old movies where, for example, a man will meet a woman say near a hotel or office elevator. They talk for a few minutes, then he would ask "How about dinner tomorrow night?", and she accepts. I was total flabbergasted that the dating game was nowhere near this easy in real life.  But, in the heyday of pre-Internet dating services, I was in a bunch of low-budget services which were, like, pay as you go. Eventually I swore off of them when the new breed of services which came around circa 1990 became so expensive that the average single person can't really afford them. I would also occasionally go slumming and hoping to meet a woman spontaneously that I could possibly spend some time with. But I did avoid as best I could those that were looking just for money. During the rather brief Midwest summer I would often hit the lakefront beaches sometimes along with a male buddy who was convinced that this was the best place at which to meet eligible single women at. Both of us tended to shun the bar scene which was then at its peak. For some reason I still haven't to this day figured out I was the one who was nearly always told to get lost. Did better at organized singles dances though as there were a few I met there I might have been able to marry had I chosen to pursue.

Speaking of marriage, this was something I was actually quite desperate for in the early days. No doubt this was because by the time I finally got out of "captivity" (two different boarding schools) I was 25 nearing 26 and most women in those days were already taken, or it least it seemed so. This was around 1970. I joined a local social club geared toward single adults but never had much luck persuading anyone to date me from there, and in fact was confronted that I was scaring the girls away. To this day this has been a source of vast disillusionment, and painful that some actually seemed to think I was some sort of monster. And this was many years before all the sexual harassment hysteria began. If one were to say that I was using this and a couple of other singles groups to find dates, I am guilty as sin.  In that group I would see many of the guys putting their arms around and even kissing some of the women despite not actually being in a steady relationship. Yet when I would attempt it I would always get called onto the carpet and lectured.

It wasn't until the late-1990s that I learned about Asperger's Syndrome, a condition of social awkwardness that pretty much lasts a lifetime. Of course in my younger days I thought it was something that I could beat and had as much to offer someone as anybody else. These words would not come out of my mouth today. My actions in this regard did lead to confrontations with police on a couple of occasions and nearly landed me in jail once. I know for a fact that still I was able to get away with a lot more at that time than would ever be possible today.

Today, while I sometimes will browse through the Internet dating sites I haven't really done much of anything as, especially since Craig's List discontinued their personals sections, there is hardly any place online where you can do so for free. You can browse, but if you wish to contact anyone you have to pay up. In nearly all cases the billing recurs monthly and those fees can add up big time. Maybe if I ever get the majority of my bills paid off, or better yet win the lottery.  I also more and more tend to stay away from situations that could be confrontational and I wish to avoid controversy when at all possible.  While I never was physically abusive, I could very often lash out verbally if I felt I was being mistreated, such as if one cancelled a date abruptly when I felt that she didn't have a good reason to do so.  On pins and needles when a date was made, wondering if the gal was really going to keep it. As time went along the percentage of cancelled dates tended to increase as well as the increase of rejections at events such as singles dances.

Would love to hear any thoughts on this, as well as if the term Ladies' Man in itself is more derogatory these days than it once may have been. And does it really take the holy trinity of lots of money, killer good looks and designer clothes to make a successful Ladies' Man? And all the qualification different and more stringent than they may have been in the past?

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