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Turning-dependent jokes
#1
I like to read old jokebooks and such, hence I often find jokes that don't fit that much into our time. This is a thread for them.

Here's one from 1T for a start:

A G.I. tells his wife: "It's time we give the kids the talk how the world really works!"

Wife: "No, please don't, they still so young and innocent!"


Husband (sighs): "Listen - we always told the kids that the good Lord provides the daily bread, Santa brings the gifts, and the stork delivers the babies, right?"

Wife: "Yes - and?"

Husband: "The kids are starting to believe that I was just a useless bum!"

That's typical for 1T - parents who believe in Dr. Spock, "we need idealistic kids" and all that, spoiling them rotten... and that's the result: ungrateful brats who don't know jack!
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#2
This innocence would be more typical of Silent than Boomer children.
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#3
(03-02-2019, 08:57 AM)Bill the Piper Wrote: This innocence would be more typical of Silent than Boomer children.

Boomers had the protective umbrella of the GIs, who knew best after all.   Big Grin   Don't discount the formative times for the results that happened later.  Naïve in youth is not naivete in adulthood.
Intelligence is not knowledge and knowledge is not wisdom, but they all play well together.
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#4
A joke from 1T:

A man is standing next to a machine and advertises it to the passersby as the new shaving machine. One man asks how it works. The first man explains: "Just stick your head into it, and it'll shave you automatically - faster than the best barber could do!"

The man is curious and wants to try it, but backs off in the last moment: "Don't all people have individual headshapes?"
"Only the first time you use it!"
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#5
Good jokes.

What do you call a man who in a 3T lies to get his hands on other people's money to build houses far beyond the ability of customers who sells those houses to them on their shaky or non-existent credit without concern for whether the customers pay the loans after five years and lives like a sultan?

A financial genius!

What do you call the same person in a 4T?

His number in the penal system!
The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated Communist  but instead the people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists -- Hannah Arendt.


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#6
Thanks!

A 2T joke:

A teenage daughter is allowed to go on her first un-chaperoned party. When she comes back, the nervous parents ask: "And, what did you do there?"
"I don't know what's it called, but this is going to be my new hobby!"
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#7
These jokes are a great introduction to S&H! I hope the 2030s won't be that gory.
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#8
1T joke:

Teacher (Nomad, Hero, Silent?): "If you ever are in doubt how a word is written, just check the dictionary!"
Boomer kid: "But I'm never in doubt!"
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#9
2T joke again:

Boomer teenage daughter listening to rock 'n' roll music: "Have you ever heard such a great sound?"
G.I. father: "Yeah, that one time when two trucks collided. One of them had loaded empty milk cans, and the other one grunting pigs!"
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#10
1T:

A Boomer boy is sitting in the garden, crying. His grandfather (Lost) asks what's going on.

Boy: "Daddy [G.I.] doesn't want to play 'Cowboys and Indians' with me!"
Grandfather: "Stop wailing, I'll play 'Cowboys and Indians' with you!"
Boy: "That doesn't work, gramps! You're already scalped!"
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#11
1T again (from MAD magazine):

GI Dad: "Look at this beautiful snow castle I built for you! Do you like it?"

Boomer boy: "Oh yes, it's great! - Can I smash it now?!"

It's really all like "You build it up, mother - we gonna tear it down!" again.
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#12
This is from a 4T, I think:

An Artist boy runs to his mom and complains: "Daddy slapped me!"

Father: "Lying again? Wanna get slapped once more?"

(My thoughts: Some fathers in history have been unfair, hitting their kids whether they're right or wrong; some have been fair and only hit kids when they were lying or did something else that was bad. Most mothers tend to defend their kids no matter what. Now if the father's been unfair, that's a good thing. But when he's fair, it's a bad thing.)
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#13
Boomer or X-er?
Two women talk about their teen-aged daughters.

Woman 1: "My daughter never tells me what she's doing outside the home! That's making me sick!"

Woman 2: "My daughter is the opposite. She tells me everything!"

Woman 1: "But that's great!"

Woman 2: "No! That's making *me* sick!"
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#14
A Silent student of philosophy returns home to visit his old Lost father.

Father: "So, how ya doin' at that fine university of yours?"
Son: "Pretty well! I got an A in my logic course!"
Father: "And what's that good for?"
Son: "For example, I can prove that you actually aren't here!"
Father: "Oh come on, that's complete bullshit!"
Son: "No, really! Are you right now in Timbuktoo or somewhere else?"
Father: "Somewhere else, of course!"
Son: "See? If you are somewhere else, you aren't here!"

For a moment, the father says nothing. Then, he gives the son a mighty slap.

Son: "Ow! Why are you hitting me?"
Father: "Ain't possible! I'm not actually here, so I can't have hit you!"
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#15
I don't think Lost would do that to kids. GI maybe.
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#16
(11-03-2019, 09:32 PM)Warren Dew Wrote: I don't think Lost would do that to kids.  GI maybe.

I'm of course no Lost, but I'm a fellow Nomad, and I can identify with the old guy. If someone is pulling my leg like that... we don't play that. And if so-called intellectuals say things as absurd like that (the "postmodernists" are infamous for that), and don't listen to common sense, then we should remember that "pain is the best teacher".
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